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Why Conan Tried to Steal Spider-Man’s Pants


Marvel’s most savage Avenger just faced off against none other than the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man himself, and he still doesn’t quite understand how superpowers work in the future.

WARNING: The following contains major spoilers for Savage Avengers #20 by Gerry Duggan, Patch Zircher, Java Tartaglia and VC’s Travis Lanham, on sale now.

The Savage Avengers are undoubtedly some of the most brutal and capable heroes in the Marvel Universe. At least, most of them are heroes, though there are naturally those who don’t quite fit that descriptor as easily as others. In particular, Conan of Cimmeria is easily the worst offender, living by his own brand of Hyborian Age morality that doesn’t draw the lines between good and evil as obviously as one might hope. This centuries-old way of thinking has made Conan the most unpredictable member of the team. It has also given him a unique way of seeing things in the modern era, especially superpowers.

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Following a jailbreak, a symbiote invasion and a heist at the Hellfire Club Mansion, Conan has finally found some time to truly kick back and relax. Unfortunately, his favorite bar is in dire need of cash or they’ll be forced to shut down. To help, Conan teams up with the Rhino to collect donations on behalf of one of the largest banks in the city. Of course, their donors aren’t exactly willing, and before long Spider-Man himself has shown up to put a stop to the robbery. Conan has had plenty of interactions with other costumed crime fighters, but he hasn’t quite figured out that superpowers are just an inherent part of the world he is now living in. So as soon as he sees Spidey crawling up walls, Conan knows exactly what he wants to walk away with beyond the bank’s gold.

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Convinced that Spider-Man’s suit is what has given the hero his powers, Conan quickly throws the Wall-Crawler to the ground and demands he hand it over. When force doesn’t work, Conan is quick to offer as much gold as Spidey can carry in exchange for it, but soon learns that his new foe isn’t interested in riches. After patching up the suit where it was torn by the Cimmerian, Spider-Man explains that his powers aren’t imbued by any outside force, but rather they are a part of him. This fact astounds Conan, not just because such an innate set of abilities is so foreign to him and the time he is a product of, but because Conan can’t imagine using such great power to uphold the systems of power already in place.

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It isn’t that Conan is a bad guy, rather he is someone who sees the destitute of the city and wonders why anyone would protect those who have left them behind. These Hyborian principles have always been a defining feature of Conan the Barbarian, and seeing how they stack up against the modern age heroes and their own view of justice is one of the best looks behind the eyes of Marvel’s most savage Avenger.

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